silly starfish, weird whale, goofy goat, mean monkey, hurtful horse, treacherous tuna, amazing anteater, fancy fox, sassy shrimp, hilarious herring, serious salmon, crazy chimpanzee, funny fish, lame llama, extraordinary elephant, sorry swordfish, precious platypus, creepy crocodile, freaky frog, clever cougar, witty wombat, retarded rat, gullible gnat, tricky t-rex, awesome alligator, saucy shrew.

When your conversations include these terms, you know you've got a pretty snazzy friend.

Word of the Day: terpsichorean (turp-sih-KORE-ee-uhn), adjective

Having to do with dancing. Terpsichore is the ancient muse of dancing.

Our awkward post-wedding dance could hardly be called an example of TERPSICHOREAN splendor.

(The Big Book of Words You Should Know)

Merry's Word of the Day: ummuhhhh, phrase

Spoken with a slur and hardly audible voice, this phrase is often used by Merry when she can't decide what she wants. Literally translated, "I don't know."

Mom: "Do you want eat out or at home?" Merry: "Ummuhhhh."

Oh, and by the way, I love Diet Sunkist. You should too.

RIP Jessie Mastan

My friend Jessie died the other day. She was diagnosed with cancer a couple years ago and they thought they had gotten rid of it, but it returned just recently. It's been a downward slope since then. A few weeks ago, she had a stroke. They preformed emergency surgery on her brain, but she never regained her body and brain's normal functions. And now she's with God in paradise. I can't even begin to imagine what her parents and brother are going through right now. Please pray for them. I can imagine what her friends are going through, so please pray for us as well. At least we know she's in a better place. Not a 'better place' actually, the BEST place.

Hey Mr. Internet,

So my sister made me this cool bog guy so I can post about all the things I think about that the world should know. That's pretty nice of her, right? You'd think so, but I'm pretty sure it's going to become a Bethany-keeps-forcing-me-to-do-this-thing-thing. Like when she tries to make me do crafts or go on walks.

Let's see... what did I do today?... Went to Sunday school, went to Paradoxes (an exciting class where opinionated old people discuss the relationship between science and religion). I forgot to bring a book, so I was forced to actually listen to part of it. The only reason I sometimes like to go is the snacks. They've got some kickin' snacks. Afterwards, I pitched some in the backyard. Don't go thinkin' I'm cool 'cause I pitch because I kinda suck. Then I did homework... 50 7th grade level math problems because that's how we do Geometry at Duarte High... Chemistry. Didn't understand any of it, but he only checks that we wrote answers so I just scribbled down some numbers and occasionally wrote something like NaOH so it looked like I tried... English. Wrote an autobiographical poem. I like that word. Autobiographical. It's quite long, which is always good in a word... and what I should be doing right now, Computer. But it's stupid so I might not do it... And presently, I'm watching No Reservations.

Now you, my friend, have had the unique privilege of reading my very first blog post.

Fin.